DOGS THAT ARE ‘GOOD WITH KIDS’

We often hear the phrase that a certain dog breed is “good with kids.” Collies, Labs and golden retrievers are among the breeds that share that reputation. But dogs who are patient, gentle and nonreactive; who are relaxed in the presence of children; and who have forbearance for shrill voices and fast movements have a combination of inborn traits and learned skills — none of which necessarily come with being a member of a particular breed.

It’s a myth that certain dogs are naturally good with kids. Early and frequent socialization to kids and manners training are musts for any dog, no matter the breed or mix. No dog of any breed is guaranteed to always be good with kids, and no dog should have to bear the burden of that phrase.

Why is that, and why do I call it a burden? Let’s talk about what it means, doesn’t mean, and could mean.

Too often, dogs described as “good with kids” are those who will let kids get in their faces, sit on them, pull their tails or ears, or otherwise abuse them without complaint. They don’t growl or bark or snap when kids do those things to them. But that doesn’t make them good with kids; it makes them abused. No dog should have to put up with that kind of behavior. It’s a parent’s job to teach kids proper dog manners and to supervise their interactions with dogs so that nobody gets hurt.

So “good with kids” doesn’t — and shouldn’t — mean “will put up with all kinds of abuse without biting.”

Many dogs are kind and gentle with kids, but have a low tolerance for pain. If a child accidentally stepped on them, they might react with a yelp or nip without meaning to hurt the child. Lots of dogs love kids, but could easily knock small ones over in enthusiastic play. A thwack from a Great Dane’s tail can send a toddler tumbling. A friendly cavalier may shy away from a kid rushing at them. So might a dog who wasn’t raised with kids or doesn’t meet them very often. Old dogs can be cranky from aches and pains. That doesn’t make any of these dogs bad with kids, but it does mean that it’s important to understand a dog’s sensitivities, concerns and pain threshold, and that both dogs and kids need supervision when together.

Being good with kids is also something that a dog may have to grow into. Adolescent Labs, for instance, don’t necessarily realize how big and powerful they are, says Lab lover Linda Rehkopf of Georgia. And looks can be deceiving.

“Kids and some adults too often think ‘cute’ is the same thing as ‘gentle,’ and that is false,” Rehkopf says. But with maturity and good training and supervision, older Labs can be great with kids, she adds.

Training and socialization for dogs and kids should include showing young children how to pet dogs gently; teaching kids to let dogs approach them instead of sticking out a hand for them to sniff; accustoming dogs to sometimes-rough patting (not hitting!); and teaching dogs not to chase kids or nip at their heels, to name just a few.

For more tips, see Mikkel Becker’s advice on building a kid-dog relationship here: fearfreehappyhomes.com/kids-and-pets-how-to-develop-that-best-friend-relationship.

The bottom line is that no breed or mix can be trusted with children unsupervised, in any situation, all the time, simply because kids and dogs can be a volatile combination. It’s impossible to know what one or the other might do in any given scenario. Dogs can’t serve as babysitters or nannies — Nana of “Peter Pan” fame notwithstanding — and they shouldn’t be expected to.